Hold on tight

Do you find yourself holding steadfast to something you know you are about to lose? Firmly loyal is one meaning of steadfast and ironically I am referring to a beloved pet. I cannot help but feel sorrow when i look at her. She is failing to the point of me picking her up so she will not stumble. I have known Maddie for 10 years which is as long as I have known my hubby. She is a loyal and loving dog. I do not feel I have treated her with the same respect. She deserves someone as awesome as my hub to care for her all these years and she got me. Poor girl. I am writing with guilty hand strokes b/c now more than ever do i see how wonderful she has been and is. She IS the sweetest dog.

Because I said so....

time for bed
take your bath/shower

go brush your teeth
wash your hands
that's enough computer time
please turn off the Wii!!!!

the urge

New house, new schedule, same person....ugh. I must learn how to be organized. I know how hopeless this may sound to those who know me, but it is sorely needed. A distinct where to begin and where to end b/c giving up just down right sucks. So tried creating a new calendar for the day or "To-do" if you will. Still not working. For some reason I feel it is necessary for me to be at the beck and call of others who need help. So helping myself is hard to do. BUT when I think of it as helping my family...well that creates a whole new set of issues. I feel the hub can take the kiddos outside while/if/when I cook. The kiddos can do small chores around the house. Or the laundry, which is not a metaphor in any way, can somehow mysteriously find its way to the proper drawer. I am tired of feeling out of control with laundry! If we could somehow go nude everywhere, our home would be a happy and tidy one. Thankfully for now, we can spare the eyes of our loved ones, but at the cost of our homely happiness. Well time for more dishes and darn laundry!

a momma's joy.......her children

So I decided it is time to start the blogging adventure once again. I am in love with what people(rachel) are writing. It is absolutely bitter sweet reading about the memory of what to hold on to and the joy of growing up. This must be what we experience as mothers. The fear and wonderment of the unknown and the possibilities in store for our children and the joy we receive daily from watching them learn and grow. I love it!

Waste Not, Want Not

Having my mother in our home has definitely brought back memories, some good-some bad. Along with those memories have come actions, some good-some bad. One action in particular is my mind set toward food. Strange I know and yes it is an action. Today I have left over mashed potatoes. Normally these soft pieces of fluff gross me out completely and stay in my fridge, to the point where the white blob grows a green wig and then develops a name like Herb. Then I have to start charging Herb for his space in the airtight container b/c I don't want to open it.  But no, not this time... I missed my chance at a little extra change in my pocket and made potato cakes. Strange things these potato cakes are. And even more strangely, I enjoyed them.

Stupid Blocks

I am concerned that I will never be able to retrieve vital information for my next big step in life. Why are there stumbling blocks? A woman, in particular. All she has to do is return a phone call, that' s all. I'm on my fourth message!!!Argh!!! I don 't know how archaic the system is back where I graduated from what was called my "high school education", but they at least have voice mail. I have never met this woman, nor am I likely to, but I am feeling quite loathsome. She is in my way! 

Hmm. I just noticed something. I once heard or read that the writers use of a exclamation point should be minimal. That way when it is used, it can be taken seriously. It's almost like crying wolf or being mellow dramatic (who me?)

I love using the exclamation point! :-P   It adds so much emphasis. Like the reader can feel my frustration, hype, or rise. I don't know if I will take that advice or not.

Back to the loathsome woman with that lack of phone etiquette. I have to conquer the task of transcripts. I have to learn if my use of exclamation points are even acceptable. I know what must be done. I will be relentless. I will hound her by day. I shall prevail!

Strange Beauty

Dreams. They are so vivid to me. There are some mornings where I wake up and wonder if what happened subconsciously became reality obscured. I used to have a reoccurring  dream involving a scissor tailed bird, my favorite baby doll with matted hair carrying a butcher knife, and the count from Sesame Street. I know what your thinking....and yes, I was very young and my brain has always been this twisted. I think I was in my late teens when it stopped. It was like a movie being replayed when I closed my eyes. Vivid. As I said it's like reality but it's when I become verbally astute that I knew it must be dream. I'm not good on my toes. So when I am in this parallel dimension, I put it to good use. I have 7 dreams that I can recall so easily it's the content that gives it away. 4 are fears put to breathtaking beauty it's so incredibly fascinating yet bizarre.  1 is so exhilarating I felt like the word impossible was nonexistent. 2 were life altering or at the very least heart impacting. And this series would not be complete without my childhood dream. Stay tuned.